When you find that “special someone” in your life, you want to do everything you can to hold onto and grow that relationship. After all, as humans, we all have an inherent desire to be close to one another. Yet, maintaining a relationship is no easy task! In the heat of the moment, we all make mistakes and may display feelings we later regret. However, the good and bad experiences make your relationship unique and are how you build a meaningful life together. Just know that even if your relationship has taken a turn, there are ways to restore connections and build upon the love once there or already established. Here are a few tips from Chapin & Russell Associates for fostering a healthy, happy relationship between you and your partner and how intimacy plays a part.
What Aspects Make a Healthy Relationship?
What exactly is a healthy relationship? On the surface, it might seem like a relationship is well-off. However, many aspects contribute to the trust and feelings between individuals, not all of which are immediately apparent to an outside observer. Intimacy is primarily what a relationship is built upon, but that doesn’t just mean physical contact. Intimacy encompasses a range of emotions and boundaries, each unique and requiring concerted effort to acknowledge. These types of intimacy include:
- Physical Intimacy – When thinking of intimacy, physical is often the first example to pop into people’s minds. Physical intimacy involves physical touch and closeness shared between partners, such as hugging, kissing, cuddling, or holding hands. Physical intimacy helps build trust and connection while expressing love in a tangible way.
- Emotional Intimacy – Being able to share your innermost thoughts and feelings is what it means to be emotionally intimate with another. By sharing your deepest emotions with the one you love, you create a safe space for mutual understanding and acceptance. In turn, this helps you and your partner foster a deeper connection.
- Intellectual Intimacy – Rather than physical touch and emotions, intellectual intimacy addresses one’s capacity for reasoning and understanding. It involves sharing ideas and opinions and engaging in meaningful conversations. This type of intimacy strengthens bonds through open communication and respect for each other’s perspectives.
- Spiritual Intimacy – Name aside, spiritual intimacy doesn’t necessarily have to do with you and your partner’s religious beliefs, but it can be part of it. Spiritual intimacy is broader; it involves connecting through shared beliefs, values, or practices (like meditation or prayer). It helps encourage a sense of purpose and alignment in a relationship.
- Social Intimacy – The unique interests, pastimes, and activities you and your partner enjoy together contribute to your social intimacy. Social intimacy is also about connecting with others with your partner, like spending time with mutual friends or close family. The more time you and your partner spend together and with others, the closer you become.
How You Can Cultivate Your Intimacy
It might seem like a “cheesy” analogy, but growing intimacy between you and your partner is much like caring for a plant or flower. It takes time, patience, and consistent care and attention for your flower to thrive. Yet, that flower can suffer if neglected, clipped, or smashed; as difficult as it was to grow, it’s easy to kill. Much is the same regarding intimacy. You and your partner won’t be “connected” overnight, but enough effort from both parties will lead to a comfort and closeness you share with no one else. Here are some ways you can cultivate such intimacy in your relationship:
Share Stories of Childhood and Your Past
You should want to get to know your partner better, so why not start with each other’s personal history? Not only can learning about your partner’s past inform the way they think or act, but it can also be a fun experience! Even simple, light-hearted stories can highlight hidden values, quirks, or vulnerabilities of loved ones.
Explore Shared Interests
There’s nothing more satisfying than sharing what you love and are passionate about with others. You and your partner will likely share some of these same interests, so why not pursue them together? Shared hobbies like hiking, cooking, painting, enjoying new restaurants, playing games, etc., allow you to connect through the creation of memorable moments.
Try Something New
On the opposite of doing something you and your partner love, try something entirely new for both of you! You still connect with your significant other on a social, emotional, and intellectual level, but you learn something new in the process. Even if you find you’re bad at your new hobby, it shows your imperfections, which can defuse potential tensions about being seen as vulnerable.
Practice Better Communication and Listening
If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: communication is key to a healthy relationship. Talking openly and honestly with your partner builds trust and creates opportunities to discuss goals, values, differences, and more. Additionally, listening fully before formulating a response shows you care about understanding the full context of what your significant other is sharing.
Set Aside Time for Each Other
Making time for your partner is a must-do in any intimate relationship. It shows that you’re willing to prioritize them and their needs, which can be an incredibly reassuring experience. Making time for each other doesn’t have to mean grand gestures or extravagant dates; something as simple as cuddling on the couch while watching a movie can strengthen intimacy.
Establish Boundaries
Boundaries are essential in any relationship as they help establish respect and trust between partners. Knowing and understanding what might make your significant other uncomfortable goes a long way toward avoiding conflict. Ensure you communicate your boundaries clearly and respect your partner’s in return. Healthy relationships require mutual understanding and compromise.
Find More Help for Your Relationships with Chapin & Russell Associates
Developing intimacy in a relationship might seem like a simple enough concept, but it’s something that takes considerable time and effort. As you and your partner continue learning more about each other, sharing your thoughts on the future, and being comfortable with each other’s vulnerabilities, you’re well on your way to a happy and healthy relationship. Yet, if greater intimacy still seems outside of you and your significant other’s grasp, there’s no shame in seeking guidance from a trained professional. At Chapin & Russell Associates, our relationship counselors assist couples wishing to mend or strengthen their relationships. If you have concerns about your relationship, don’t hesitate to contact our experienced counseling team. Contact Chapin & Russell Associates today by calling 309-396-6731. We supply general counseling services to residents in Peoria, Morton, Washington, and communities across Central Illinois.
